We're all agreed that a key to a happy marriage is to be faithful. And your wife has been 100% faithful. And I promised to help you both with your marriage, and you've been kind enough to help me out financially. In response to your questions, what I did with your wife on Saturday was completely consistent with being perceptually faithful. That's what I mean by faithful, not the boring actually faithful stuff. When we booked that motel, you were off playing golf. Our model shows that what your wife did was outside your perception. When your wife came back, she was able to unfold her experiences, giving you a better-than-faithful experience. My buddies Amrit and Jack peer-reviewed my stories at the bar afterwards, and they were amazed with all the folding that we managed to get done. They think you're one lucky guy. You don't agree? We've done extensive research on entertaining loads of wives, and you've only looked after your own one. So what would you know? If you can't comprehend how what you've got now is better than boring conventionally faithful, it says bad things about you. I've tried to be patient and dumb it down. You shouldn't have assumed 'faithful' in the same way as everyone else, or the 'faithful' they use in those dictionaries and textbooks and patents. When I say 'faithful' it means whatever I want it to mean. So now you're saying you have photos and witness statements that prove infidelity. That just shows how dishonest you are. If you wanted faithful you should have shut up and stopped paying attention. Now how about another few bucks to tide me over?