The Funny/LOL Thread

Epic fail? How about Company seeking to create Woolly Mouse creates Woolly Mamoth?

 

I’ll get me coat …

 

A post in your honor, Rob, care of some bright sparks on the interwebs:

 

Some more, courtesy of our American friends, this time for the Brits out there, @Thad E Ginathom:

 

And, finally, for our American friends:

 

I don't know why people make such a fuss about July 4th. I celebrate it: it's my birthday.

 

@Tchoupitoulas thank you! I’m suitably honored!

 

No, Texas isn't that huge. As for 2nd graphic, It shows the continent of africa inside Australia--which is bullshit. Africa is WAY bigger.

Here's the real story:

PS: I'm American but I actually know my ass from my elbow

 

Maps are great, and very informative. I mean, you can see why that guy wants Greenland - it'd more than double the US's land area, even counting Alaska!



Now imagine if you also added Antarctica...

 

I believe it's Auntarctica.

 

Yesterday, I was at my local IGA store picking up a large bag of dog food for my loyal livestock guardian. While waiting in the checkout line, a woman behind me glanced at the bag and asked, “Do you have a dog?”

What did she think I had—an elephant? But since I’m retired and have plenty of time on my hands, I decided to have a little fun.

“No,” I said with a straight face, “I don’t have a dog. I’m starting the Dog Diet again.”

Her eyebrows shot up, so I continued. “I probably shouldn’t, though. Last time, it worked wonders—I lost 10 kilo’s - but I ended up in the hospital. I woke up in intensive care with tubes everywhere and IVs in both arms.”

By now, the people in line were starting to pay attention. “The diet is simple,” I explained. “You just keep some dog kibble in your pockets and eat a piece every time you feel hungry. It’s nutritionally balanced, so it’s perfect for weight loss. I figured I’d give it another shot.”

The woman looked horrified. “Did the dog food poison you?” she asked.

“Oh no,” I replied, shaking my head. “I stepped off the curb to chase an Irish Setter and a car hit me.”

The guy behind her nearly fell over laughing, and I’m pretty sure the cashier couldn’t breathe. Suffice it to say, I think I might be banned from the IGA now.

Moral of the story? Be careful what you ask retired folks—we’ve got all the time in the world to come up with creative answers.

 

I love it when this thread gets serious!

I suppose.... the best humour makes one think.

Epic. Wonderful. You could have sold tickets

 

You remind me of my old man, who had a cheeky streak and loved to take the piss.

There used to be a chain of stores in the UK called Mother Care, which sold nappies (diapers), baby bottles and the like. One day they had a sign in the window announcing, "free advice for breast feeding." In he went, grin on his face, asking where to sign up (with my exasperated but laughing mother outside, shaking her head).

 

I can’t believe how ignorant the kids are these days. Of course we celebrate the Red October revolution when Sean Connery decided not to launch a nuclear sneak attack on America.

Alternate joke in case that doesn’t land: of course we do! Look, there’s a whole crowd of people celebrating it right here.

Strong Calvin’s Dad energy with this one.

 

(Pharmaboy frantically googles "think")

 

I would be posting funny stuff too, of I could figure out imgur! Even with @Biodegraded helping me out one time I am like 3 for 15...

 

An annual favourite! You should see the wife and sister in law! Laugh? - I never thought their knees would heal!