ESSAY CONTEST: Win a JDS Labs The Element

Discussion in 'Closed (Archived) Sales' started by purr1n, Mar 29, 2016.

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What is your vote as the best essay? Who is worthy? Vote up to two times. Make sure you scroll down.

Poll closed Apr 20, 2016.
  1. George Utah Benson

    9.4%
  2. The Plan

    15.6%
  3. For what is worth, I still browse Head-Fi and enjoy it.

    3.1%
  4. Ekzerp fumde Shvedishiffs Curkey Burkey

    9.4%
  5. Music appreciation / music as a tangible object rant

    12.5%
  6. Headphone movie trailer

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. A rant about bad onboard phone audio

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  8. What Makes Super Best Audio Friends Awesome

    9.4%
  9. What makes SBAF such a great place?

    3.1%
  10. A Journey of the Soul

    6.3%
  11. Detachable penis

    6.3%
  12. Project Stormcrow

    28.1%
  13. Locke Lamora

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  14. Fear and Loathing in Judea

    31.3%
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. lm4der

    lm4der A very good sport - Friend

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    nice one
     
  2. TwoEars

    TwoEars Friend

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    That's some of the funniest stuff I've read all month, and I'm not even invested in the whole CS vs HF vs SBAF debacle. Nice transition to the french butt plugs. :D
     
  3. BleaK

    BleaK Friend

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    [​IMG]

    Cue epic movie music


    Narrator: This, is history. Sometime before 2014, in the town of Headfi... Where the pricier headphones got pricier, and were artist endorsed headphones ruled the streets. There was one headphone which was destined to bring back the balance between cost and sound quality...

    SR-009: "I don't know who this headhone is, but I want him and his frequency graph, DEAD!"

    Narrator: Every flagship wants a bite of him...

    TH-900: "How can such a lowlife touch us, the expensives?"

    T1: "He is never gonna replace me! NEVER!"

    HD800: "No one leaves without a treble-spike...."

    Narrator: He is... HE-500!

    *Explosion*

    HE-500: "I didn't choose this... I didn't want to be a hero..."

    Cue soft audiophile piano music

    Modded T50RP: "HE-500 this place need you. I need you. Before I met you I was a lowlife ortho, but you showed me, you showed all of Headfi, that this place can be something different. We can ALL have a balanced frequency graph."

    HE-500: "Baby, I'll make Tyll measure you all night long..."

    Modded T50RP: "Oh you mad dog you!"

    *Explosion, HE-500 walking away*

    Dramatic high paced movie music

    ???: "He is no match for me... Don't worry SR-009, I've dealt with his kind before..."

    Modded T50RP: "No! Don't touch me! Leave me alone!"

    Empty streets. HE-500 walks in front of a building.

    HE-500: "Set her free! It's me you want! Come out you coward!"

    Voice from building: "So, you've come at last, HE-500...."

    HE-500: "I know this frequency response... You are..."

    LCD-2 walks out of the building

    HE-500: "My nemesis..."

    Evil deep laughter from LCD-2

    Narrator: THIS SUMMER, a headphone world you have never experienced. HE-500, with help from his brothers HE-400....

    HE-400: "YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAA, did someone drop the BASS on this place or what!?"

    Narrator: ...and HE-6...

    HE-6: "Isn't there any bar in this god forsaken place with power enough to drive me...?"

    Narrator: ...will he be the one headphone to save Headfi-town?

    Epic fighting between HE-500 and LCD-2, THD shootout

    LCD-2: "You'll never have my bass!"

    HE-500: "You're just angry because you can never get any ladies without a mild treble-spike"

    LCD-2 and HE-500 running against eachother

    LCD-2: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

    HE-500: "HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    *BOOM*

    "Trouble in Headfi-town"

    Coming out on cinemas in June...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2016
  4. TimelessTele

    TimelessTele New

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    A rant about bad onboard phone audio

    My hate for onboard smartphone audio started recently with the purchase of my Samsung S7. It specs looked really good and it had a bigger screen then my iPhone 5. I downloaded spotify and loaded my music collection with the extreme preset (320kbps). I plugged in my Re400s and proceeded to vomit. Holy crap the headphone out is bad. Bass is floppy and muddy. Mids are grainy and low resolution. Highs distort and are fatigueing. What am I comparing this too? My iPhone 5 and my PC's onboard audio. I've used higher end audio at stores like Best Buy but as a broke student that's just starting on his audio journey, I don't have any high end or even mid fi equipment.

    Anyways, why is it so bad? I don't know. I researched this and the only information I found was Samsung's bad history of bad audio on their previous devices. So I decided to try other devices. These are my super scientific and totally objective non-biased findings: Most Android phones suck. Samsung phones are the worst of the bunch. HTC are actually passable starting with the M8 and up. M7 was pretty bad. So what excuse does Samsung have? Penny pinching I guess. This is the company that only recently has stopped using creaky plastic on the top of the line phones.

    Let's start talking about stock music players. I seem to be in a minority but Google play music is just bad. It forces it's streaming services down your throat and hides your collection that's onboard the phone in a corner. Apollo is a decent third party solution but it suffers from the occasional glitch.

    It's a bit ironic how much crapware is on the phone yet they don't include a different music player. The S7 stock literally has 3 browsers, 2 music services, and 4 email clients, but not a music player. You could have done some good in the world but you didn't samsung. You just didnt.
    What makes matters worse is Androids audio over OTG. In theory, all phone manufacturers should support it if their phones have Android 5.0 or up. It's just to bad most phones aren't updated to the latest OS. This is in part Carriers fault but Google should really start pressuring carriers to get off their lazy ass and roll out updates faster. Even if they did update, there are reports of many whose phones just don't set the audio signal through usb.

    In conclusion, it seems Android Phone manufacturers need some catching up to do. Apple basically has all of these problems sorted out. They have a decent stock player, support audio over usb, and have a decent headphone out. Just copy them and your problems will be solved.
    /EndOfRant
     
  5. MrTie

    MrTie Friend

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    What will bring sonic bliss?

    Stats, Planars , Hypetrain Flagships?

    Just German Mid-fi.
     
  6. Enigmatic

    Enigmatic Friend

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    I need another avatar.

    996 more words to go.
     
  7. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    What Makes Super Best Audio Friends Awesome


    By Deep Funk

    This essay is devoted to a place on the World Wide Web where people devote their time to the audio hobby. This hobby called “audio” is the kind of hobby that transforms everyday people in nerds who share one thing in particular, namely the enjoyment of music. Sometimes they are called audiophiles, music lovers or “that person with many headphones.” One such group of people gathers at www.superbestaudiofriends.org and it is an awesome place.

    Yours truly is a member of this humble place where the audio hobby is shared. Sure “Head-Fi”, “Rock-Grotto”, “Head-Case” and other places exist. There is simply a preference for “Super Best Audio Friends” that keeps yours truly at this place. There also used to be a place called www.changstar.com that preceded “Super Best Audio Friends” and there my story begins.

    “Super Best Audio Friends” is the continuation of “Changstar”, call it version two with some changes and improvements. “Changstar” changed the audio hobby by going beyond consumer existence and adding science to the experience of music. Subjective and objective observations became equals and members would send in their headphones to have headphones measured and tested.

    On “Super Best Audio Friends” the addition of science continues. A cooperation with the legendary “Innerfidelity” site also exists which gives measurements and tests more credibility. Compared to many audio sites on the World Wide Web this is unique beyond imagination. To be able to contribute even a little is already quite rewarding.

    Next there are the people who gather at “Super Best Audio Friends.” The members are all unique and nerdy in their own way. At one point all members share music that is so well liked that you feel a connection by simply playing an album. Yes I am referring to Daft Punk’s “Random Access Memories” and it makes total sense when you understand the album’s narrative.

    At “Changstar” and at “Super Best Audio Friends” something else is quite unique. Value-for-money is the holy grail for audio gear. Thus I learnt of the existence of the Koss KSC75. Ever since yours truly acquired it, it became a personal standard for other headphones. Even the Stax and Planar driver technology owning members understand how much value-for-money this humble Koss headphone is.

    Then there is the love for music. As much as headphones, amplifiers and digital-to-analogue-converters play a role in the audio hobby, they mean nothing without the music. Turntable systems may have many zeros in their price tags but music remains invaluable. The sharing of music and mutual appreciation of unknown artists and works adds a dynamic that can only be called musical.

    Additionally something else should be mentioned. Sometimes this is under-appreciated but wrongfully so. Humour is a vital part of what makes “Super Best Audio Friends” the place it is. Like “Changstar” before it being able to share honest opinions in the form of irony, sarcasm, cynicism or a good one-liner makes it easier to express content or discontent. In that sense “limp dick” became a term and it made sense in a specific context relating to specific audio gear. Under-performance became amusing while still confronting the reader with under-performing audio gear.

    Last but not least friendship and kindness. The audio hobby is one that makes people appreciate the solitary experience of listening alone to music. At the same time the audio hobby creates the sensation of minds that think alike, share and help others out. When you find that person who appreciates similar music and interests you feel connected. You feel connected, you feel more human and play your favourite music again. Life is good again.

    Thus I must conclude. The audio hobby is one where subjective and objective observation both matter. From the humble “Changstar” to the current place with the cooperation with “Innerfidelity” there is much to like. This hobby makes you a nerd and proud to be one. Value-for-money makes you appreciate the little things in the hobby. Music connects us and a sense of humour adds to already present dry facts and personal impressions. In the end friendship and kindness are the final reward and you play your favourite music again. All this is what “Super Best Audio Friends” means for yours truly.

    While writing this I had a fresh coffee, Daft Punk’s “Random Access Memories” playing and the humble HD600 rendering the music to my brains. Life is good. Thank you for your time.

    P.S. Now I must read some Douglas Adams. “The Salmon Of Doubt” awaits me and no I am not talking about sashimi.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2016
  8. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    Rule 34, I shall not look this up.
     
  9. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    Needs more Michael Bay...
     
  10. GoodEnoughGear

    GoodEnoughGear Evil Dr. Shultz‎

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    Rob Watts has more taps than youuuuuuu....
     
  11. KurtSvensson

    KurtSvensson Friend

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    You not only took the topic I intended to write about as soon as I saw the challenge, but you missed an opportunity to have the best words! Just throw it in somewhere around "I have the best life". And yes, I am of course allowed to dictate your essay.
     
  12. JoshMorr

    JoshMorr Friend

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  13. Pyruvate

    Pyruvate Friend

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    Clearly, vape gains >>> transducer > amp/DAC
     
  14. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

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    Off topic, because it is not an essay, although it might be a part of my bog-raphy.

    Moatsart... in a conversation which happened sometime in my life during recent years, where we are all waxing lyrical about High Fidelity, about how good sound systems sound like the real thing, and, particularly, how the accuracy of active studio monitors makes it all even more real, when someone broke the spell by saying, Oh, come on, guys: nobody actually ever gets confused as to whether they are listening to the band or the speakers!

    I have to admit, though, having listened to the speakers with headphones on, failing to realise, until my woken-up wife came to complain. And I know I'm not the only one to have done that
     
  15. aufmerksam

    aufmerksam Friend

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    For added excitement, I am pretty sure the ass shaker in question is THE Mike Mercer.
     
  16. MoatsArt

    MoatsArt Friend

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    I've tried completing this task, but can't write anything I've been happy with.

    Elvis Costello once said "writing about music is like dancing about architecture". In that vein, could I just do another tap dance or, possibly, perform a mime?

    Besides, Elvis plagiarised this remark. Could someone please do my homework for me?
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2016
  17. TwoEars

    TwoEars Friend

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  18. MoatsArt

    MoatsArt Friend

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    Here's a transcription of my mime entry.










    Thank you for your kind applause.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2016
  19. lm4der

    lm4der A very good sport - Friend

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    Can you dance a jig?

    Martin Mull, courtesy of Google.
     
  20. MoatsArt

    MoatsArt Friend

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    I'll put in another entry. The writing in my previous efforts has been forced. Will just write spontaneously this time.

    What makes SBAF such a great place?

    Friends.

    @The Alchemist
    Tirelessly doing the little and not so little bits and pieces behind the scenes, often without recognition or the expectation of thanks

    @lm4der
    Insightful comments wedged between smile-inducing humour

    @Deep Funk
    Music lover, fount of philosophy and purveyor of the absurd

    @shaizada
    Inspiring vinyl evangelist, generous with his time and dispenser of encouraging, kind words

    @sphinxvc & @velvetx
    Working hard to turn the shadow of words into the substance of a real listening experience

    @knerian
    Music in the bones and, despite a tentacle-arm mutation, a dedicated pianist

    @flatmap & @dubiousmike
    Wiping the dust off 1,000 years of neglected music

    @Thad E Ginathom & @Koth Ganesh
    Opening eyes to the landscape of India and her evocative music

    @purrin
    Indefatigable, clear and selfless voice in the audiophile choir, many of whom sing out of tune

    @Bill-P & @sorrodje
    Harnessing ingenuity and curiosity for the benefit of all

    @zerodeefex & @OJneg
    Sergeants, wielding word whips to keep us all in line

    @Tyll Hertsens & @schiit
    Full of refreshingly witty and frank remarks, mirroring SBAF's values in an often valueless industry

    Your name might not be here, but that makes you no less important. You are part of a community that cares about music, sound and, most importantly, each other. I'm proud to rub shoulders with you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2016
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