Mistakes Were Made, A Tale of Spending

You could learn to enjoy window-shopping! You can enjoy all the stuff out there; you can enjoy other people's experiences of it --- without feeling compelled to buy.

 

This is one of the main reasons I'm here. Especially for the TOTL gear.

Unfortunately, all this vicarious enjoyment still makes me want to buy some of it. I'm lusting after a DSHA-3F to drive my Clears now

 

Using a credit card as a cash-replacement solely is just the first step and in no way guarantees financial stability. It just prevents you from going into the red.

The harder step is to start saving every month once your head is above water. Avoiding purchases that you can "afford" (by the numbers) in preference for future big ticket purchases or investment returns. See: Time preference theory.

 

And when there are meets and stuff, actually get to touch it (shivers down the spine). And with friends, rather than salesmen breathing down your neck and/or looking at you like you should not be there because you obviously can't afford it.

 

Dude, don't feel so bad about yourself. If it makes you feel any better... I still live with my parents, and siblings, and both of them are with their wives, and I have a niece, and I also have a wife and a (coming) kid.

And my younger brother and I are probably the only people in the family who speak fluent English. I wasn't even born in the US.

That's pretty normal.

The thing is... if you do enjoy something, then you should not be forced to quit doing it just because of this or that situation. Overcoming situation is what will build your character and also develop you as a person moving forward. Don't quit just because the going gets tough. I have been in your shoes before and I can tell you... it does get better. You just gotta try a bit harder.

I guess my first post was a bit unclear with regards to the humor but... it's totally okay to be knee deep in debt and still enjoy life. And that's better than the alternative... where you may not have any debt but you aren't enjoying anything either. That's just... being dead.

I still have a few months (read: maybe a year) left on my student loan payments after all this time. I just bought a car for myself and that means my mailbox gets heavier every month. Paypal credit has very "graciously" increased my limits to an amount that I find pretty... absurd, and it has been super hard to resist just grabbing everything I see on sale on eBay because it's still 4th of July sales period right now. But I have persevered because my wife keeps reminding me how much her favorite fruits cost per lb versus what I wanna get.

But nothing will ever stop me from snagging the next DNA Stratus or Zana Deux that appears on the market. Especially not some stoopid stinkin' fruit! (pls don't tell my wife I said that tho!)

Life is short, so you might as well enjoy every moment of it.

P.S.: and also... if you quit now, and just suppress the urges... when you finally have the money to let loose, I bet you will surprise yourself, and then you'll feel even worse about yourself. Honestly, I have been there and done that.

 

hey @scapeinator1

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am a 25 year old who recently went through very similar experience as you and would like to offer some insight! After watching Tyll/Innerfidelity rave about the Focal Clear, I too was curious about its sonic qualities and purchased it using Paypal Credit. It was slightly above my spending limit, but I figured I can just pay it off little by little. After the initial purchase, I went on a major shopping spree pursuing a TOTL setup after realizing that there's no interest if paid in full within 6 months. I became more impulsive with my purchases and somehow ended up with a pretty big debt. Sure I had a pretty nice setup that I was happy with, but holy moly, that was a stressful period for me. Even when hanging out with friends, I was always reminded of the debt I had collected every time I pulled out my credit card. I was also stressed at work, trying to calculate whether I'll make enough money to pay rent and have enough to pay off the debt in time.. because after the 6 months grace period, you're basically piled on with interest. I realized it wasn't worth the stress, so I downgraded all of my gears except what I considered "essential" - HD650. I was able to pay everything off eventually and learned a very valuable lesson to be more smart about my spending.

Today, I'm debt free, I still use paypal credit, and enjoy this hobby. I'm just more careful with my budget and don't let my impulses take control of my purchases. Paypal credit can be a valuable tool if used correctly!

You're not alone in this and a lot of us have experienced very similar struggles. Don't be too hard on yourself and take it one step at a time. The pain and the misery will subside eventually. It seems that you have a good support group based on your post that will help you through the hard times.

I'm just a rando so not sure if i'm qualified to say this, but if you need someone just to listen without judgement, don't hesitate to message me, I'll be your shoulder to cry on

 

Being Canadian with less access to gear definitely helped curb my spending habits (it's amazing how a 20% import duty will make me reevaluate my choices). I also deliberately do not have paypal, do not have an ebay account, and only just signed up for Amazon last year and already feel myself falling down that rabbit hole of "convenience".

Despite all that, I did manage to do a lot of trading but I had to work hard at it, which itself was a good self-management system... and ultimately probably made me appreciate the gear more.

 

Many similar experiences in my dozen years or so with this hobby. Gateway was an iPod video. Then a pair of grado SR125’s, then added a pair of HD580’s. From there, literally 9 or 10 years of midfi gear shuffling, which much like @Armaegis, I enjoyed a bunch. I think we even sold each other a few things over the years. I now have a rig I really like. The only itch left, is getting a pair of closed cans that meet my needs. I mostly bought and sold used gear, so losses were minimal.

 

Agreed with everything here. Also really agreed with the THX AAA + Modi 3. That's a pretty great combo for the price. Even sounds good with the CA Solaris. Yeah, I could improve with a better DAC, but I don't use my desktop setup daily so it doesn't affect me to be honest.

I have a $5k credit line with Paypal Credit, and I never went too crazy with it. I use it more often than I would like on smaller purchases (I even think using $500 of it is risky even for me). It's called control, and also what do you want to use any audio equipment for? I downgraded from four cans to one, since I travel more often and prefer IEMs nowadays. I was thinking of getting another IEM, but honestly the Andros and Solaris are doing the job for me, so perhaps I shouldn't get a Bass Cannon IEM.

 

I had another long-winded post about the original topic queued up but I've posted enough rambling prose this month already I feel.

Just dropping in to say that yeah, don't feel bad, I'm in a situation like @Bill-P too and it's perfectly normal (at least in my cramped, cosy little corner of the map). Parents, three sisters, and an absolute menagerie of mammals and avians (we used to keep turtles around too... dear God that stunk quite literally). I swear that's the only reason I have trouble keeping girlfriends

But really, if you're seeing this, just be chill, scapeinator. There's no one "right" way to do life, and enjoying it should IMO be near the top of the list. Just make sure to keep your head above water and not make any financial (or otherwise) decisions that you'll later curse yourself for. Best of luck man, hope you drop by the "bar" again some time soon just to catch up. You're doing a good thing looking out for yourself.

No financial advice here sadly, I have a history of being somewhat reckless there too, though that's changed recently for the better.

 

I'll add, on the flip side, if we were all utility-maximizing rational actors i.e., homo economicus, we'd all be driving 2nd-hand gold 1992 Corollas. So, the fun part to me lies somewhere between ORFAS and that buzzkill, Ed from accounting with horrible taste.

 

I’d like this 100 times if I could!

 

@scapeinator1
As a future high income earner, don’t be so hard on yourself. While in med school do whatever you need to (besides drugs and heavy alcohol) to get through. There is a reason it is called retail therapy. We all use it here at SBAF.

My only good advice is to read the book
“The White Coat Investor”. It is the best $10 kindle purchase. It will really help you make some good decisions about spending and investments (in yourself etc).

 

I'm positive we did, but I'll be flummoxed to remember what they were.

 

Not sure if others will agree but I think a lot of stupid spending comes from being on forums too much and getting a mad case of FOMO.

Some useless spending isn't useless though. You need to figure out what you like by listening to it for several day hours to days. That info can point your ship better to what TOTL stuff fits you down the road.

Or no TOTL gear at all. My fairly modest setup in the office is good enough because thebthought of what I'd spend on a TOTL setup I know I'd like makes me barf. Especially after just spending a month touring southern Europe and realizing what that buys me in the audio world....

 

As a wise old man I used to know used to say about people complaining of the effects of overspending (with a slight emphasis of his Jewish accent)... Yes, but be honest... You enjoyed the spending, didn't you?

 

I have to say SBAF is probably one the best things that happened to my wallet. I have likely deferred tens of potential purchases due to the critical nature with how gear is assessed and dissected here. SBAF has really helped shape my perceptions to escape mid-fi purgatory that I lavishly spent money on previously and becoming more strategic about saving up for gear that are worthwhile and provide long term enjoyment.

 

The higher up the ladder you go, the more time that gets spent fussing and self-justifying your purchases, and sometimes time spent arguing against others over that self-justification.

 

I hope that you're in the position where you can sell off your things and recoup some cash, leave with a lesson that'll serve you well into the future, and hopefully are not so deep in the red that you can dig yourself out of debt entirely in a timely manner.

Look at it this way: you learned a valuable lesson about fiscal responsibility, your self, and didn't do something worse like take out expensive car lease(s), travel without medical insurance and end up stranded in another country with paralyzing debt, or invest all you had into Bitcoin at its peak.

 

Yeah, well, I bought a shit ton of stupid shit I don't need too, and am in credit debt too. Reasoning was, it's a collection which I wanted, which I now have, and I said I won't need to buy anything else forever.

Been that way since I bought everything I needed for lx521 (still not finished amps, but I have all the parts).
Literally can't imagine myself wanting anything else.
I now have a really good open back dynamics, open back planars, open back electrostats, closed back planars, closed back dynamics, bluetooth closed back, very comfy open on ears, 3-way ciems, pair of regular iems, running sennheiser adidas earbuds, swet resistant senn/adidas iems for the gym. HD800 driven from valhalla2, rest from O2's, portables from cellphones. Amost everything equalized. One spdif source, many small cheapest 24/96 dacs and minidsp-s.

Diy box speakers and sub 2.1 for PC, 7.2 for games and movies on tv, and LX521.4 +2 subs for true stereo endgame.
Have no desire at all to compare and upgrade different amps and dacs, I'm happy with this. Didn't feel the urge to buy anything else.
The only thing I'm interested in is spatial sound with headphones, but that's gonna be software mostly anyway, some sensors maybe.

So ...

Was it stupid? Yea. Very.
Do I have urges to sell almost all of it and keep just lx521 and stax? All the time.

I also almost completed my laboratory and workshop, still have around 2k to invest in that, and then that's done too, and I quite frankly can't think of anything I'd want to buy for myself any more. A car upgrade down the line, perhaps, but that's it.

Audio part is finished, my journey there is now over. Still love to reminisce about it so I stick here, sometimes share the knoweledge, sometimes cause a ruckus... I might at some point toy around with making more speakers, but just as a true hobby with spare time and parts. Perhaps might even start a small business, exclusively for fun, with no expectations of profits.


I think it's good you were able to self reflect and stop the nonsense, but I also don't think that running away completely from your love for audio is that great. Instead, how about, make a plan of what you actually need and want, and then realize that plan.

I guess what I just wanted to say is, go one step further. Don't just turn your back on the problem with abstinence. Fight a good fight and learn to moderate yourself. Become stronger and different, grow. Learn to be realistic. You want something. That's not going to go away. You might lie to yourself and pretend you are done with it. It'll bite. We all like new stuff. New gadgets, new gear. This is our world now. Instead of closing your eyes and pretending you don't need any of it, well, how about you just don't buy shit that you already have? And instead of buying top of the line stuff, but the 99.9% performer at 1/10th of the price, after months of planing and researching, and grabing it when you have the chance to get it underpriced? Know yourself, be honest with yourself, make a deal with yourself, then don't cheat yourself.